biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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