the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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