how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dear god my vagina.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
