You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
