I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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