Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
