I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
