The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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