That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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