You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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