i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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