mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
