farters have to be the big spoon...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
