I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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