My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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