they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
