You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
false alarm, still single
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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