Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We talked him into tasing himself.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize