It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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