I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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