Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
