dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
