Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
