So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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