You just made me feel so damn special
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
