I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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