we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
