the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
why do cheetos always look like penises
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
