sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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