walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
