i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
