too bad you live with your parents still
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
