Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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