I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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