is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
