she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
