Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Duck Duck Cougar?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
