i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
