ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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