I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
