Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
