I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
