Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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