Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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