if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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