I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
