careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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