kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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