He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Couch. On fire.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
