And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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