I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
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Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think your dad took our porno
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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