I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
