Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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