she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
