she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
