Apparently you make a good broom.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
its liver damage thursday
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