hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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