have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
These tits shall not be calmed
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