I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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