the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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