This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
