at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
