Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize