I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
