Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
