He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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