You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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