Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
