Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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