They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
