dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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