Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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