As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
